Talking Blues: Lyrics

Traditional

• LP A Legacy

Wanna get to heaven?
  I'll tell you what to do
Just grease your feet
   in a little mutton stew
Go slide outta
   the devil's hands
And ooze over
   to the promised land
Easy
Greasy

I was standing in the corner
   by the mantle piece
I was standing in the corner
   by a bucket of grease
And I stuck my foot
   in that bucket of grease
Went slippin up and down
   the mantle piece
Hunting matches
Ol' plug of chewing tobacco
Cigarette butts

I'm just a city fellow
   livin' on a town
And everybody calls me
   Moonshiner Brown
I make the beer
   and I drink the slop
Got nine little orphans
   that call me pop
Boys and girls
All kinda children

I got a gal
   she's six feet tall
And sleeps in the kitchen
   with her feet in the hall
She never takes a bath
   not even a rub
She's afaid she'll slide
   through the drain in the tub
She's skinny
Bony
Not much meat on her

Well there ain't no use
   in me working too hard
'Cause I got a woman
   in the rich folks' yard
And when they kill a chicken
   she sends me the feet
And she thinks I'm workin
   I'm walkin the streets
Watching traffic
Red lights

I'm standing on a corner
   just standing like a man
Standing on a corner
Lookin for a woman
   needs a hard working man
Don't mind marrying
Can't stand settling down

No there ain't no use
   in me working too hard
'Cause I got another woman
   in the rich folks' yard
And when they kill a chicken
   she sends me the head
And she thinks I'm workin'
   I'm laying up in bed
Smoking cigarettes
Dreaming about her
Two other women

Was down the henhouse
   the other night
Was awful dark
   didn't have no light
And I reached for a chicken
   but I got me a goose
But a man came out
   had to turn him lose
Started running
Jumping hedges
Rose bushes
Plowed ground

Down the henhouse
   on my knees
And thought I heard
   a chicken sneeze
But it was only a rooster
   saying his prayers
And thanking his god
   for the hens upstairs
Rooster preaching
Hens a-praying
Pullets
Running around taking up a collection

Mama's in the bathroom
   greasing her feet
And sister's in the kitchen
   getting the yeast
Brother's in the backyard
   collecting the hops
And I'm at the window
   just watching for the cops
Making home-brew
Getting drunk
Having a good time

Of note:

Even with lyrics as patently offensive as these, no one can make a talking blues sound so good. With deft guitar, a perfect arrangement and a great voice, you can overcome a lot.

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